Whenever your child comes home with a poor assessment - anything from a D on a report card, a low grade of a test, a bad mark on a project, or a note from the teacher - it is difficult to stay calm. Your child may be upset by the result or may try to act nonchalant, but for a parent, a bad mark or grade can feel sickening.

Don't despair though - there are a few basic steps you can follow to encourage your child and ensure better school results in the future:

1. Control your own reaction. Your child will look to you for help a strong emotional reaction from you can only make them feel worse. Even if you are upset or angry, take a deep breath and adopt a lets see what we can do together attitude. Approaching the problem calmly will instantly help your child.

2. Reassure your child and praise them for showing you the mark. This will help take care of the emotional pain of a D and will encourage your child to come to you with any future school problems. It is always better to stay informed so that you can help. Even saying simple things like I know that this must feel bad right now, but if we work together, I think we can improve this, dont you think? can be helpful and reassuring.

You will also want to speak with your child frankly about school assessments. Many students and younger children often have the impression that assessments are personal and given out on a whim. In order to motivate your child to do better, you need to make sure that your child understands how assessments work. Have your child pretend that they are a teacher and have them evaluate projects that you find online. Discuss what factors go into A projects and reports. Come up with a list of qualities that teachers are looking for. Include such qualities like good vocabulary, neatness, being on time. This will help your child see that assessments are something that can be controlled with good work.

You will want to discuss the benefits of having good school assessments as well. Many students think that bad marks are no big deal, especially if other students in their class have similar ideas. Make sure that you discuss why marks and school assessments matter in the future. You may want to point out that the best career options often go to people who do well in school. You will also want to point out the beautiful and interesting universities students with great grades can go.

3. Do some damage control. Talk with your child about the D or the bad assessment and try to figure out how your child feels about it. If your child is very upset, you may need to spend extra time reassuring your child that grades can be improved. If your child feels like a failure or feels embarrassed, then you may want to spend some time telling your child about other students who have been able to improve their results with some work.

4. Help your child go over the assessment and figure out what happened. Get your child to tell you what was difficult about the problem. This can give you valuable tools for coming up with a plan for better grades. For example, if your child notes that he or she did not have enough time to finish a project, you may want to help your child manage their time more effectively. If your child has problems understanding a math concept (like long division, for example) your child may simply need to do some more practice exercises. If your child has no idea why an assignment, class, or test proved difficult, try to do some sleuthing work. You will want to suspect reading skills first - most poor grades and assessments are caused by poor reading skills. If reading skills are good, try to find out what your child finds easy or approachable, and by process of elimination try to find out what is proving challenging.

5. Ask your child whether they want a better assessment next time. Point out again all the benefits of a good school assessment - including better jobs, more life choices, and more money in the future. Ask whether your child wants these things in life. It is important to establish this at this point because your child needs to decide for themselves that they wish to improve. If they are working for better grades just to please you, they are unlikely to be really motivated and are more likely to continue getting less-than-stellar assessments.

Once your child has decided that they really do want better marks, create a plan together for getting better grades. Make sure that your child is part of the decision making process. You want your child to feel that there is hope and you want them to be part of the solution. Ask your child what small steps they can take each day to improve grades and offer your help.

6. Go in to talk to the teacher yourself. This can help you get the teachers perspective on your childs learning level. Ask the teacher for specific tips for helping your child. This will give you some professional advice and can help reassure the instructor that you are serious about helping your child.

7. Set aside extra time to help your child or get a tutor if necessary. If your child is in a younger grade, you may be able to help by spending a few extra hours each night going over schoolwork and assignments. If your child is behind or in an advanced grade, a professional tutor can offer some more serious help.

8. Keep your child motivated with praise and interest. If your child improves a grade, do celebrate with a small treat. Many parents are reluctant to give their children rewards for improved grades, since they argue that children should be getting good grades without bribes. Some parents also feel that rewards are a type of crutch - without them, children will resort back to less than ideal study habits.

Parents who think that rewards are a great idea think that rewards for good work encourage children to work hard and achieve in the short term. Often, these parents feel that with time, children learn to get satisfaction for learning alone and so will rely less on rewards.

Whether you decide to set up a rewards system for grades or not is entirely your own decision. If you decide that it will work for your child, do set up a reliable system that you can use and stick with it in order to encourage your children to learn.

9. Keep at it. Even if your child improves, you may use the extra tutoring time you have developed to help your childs other weak areas or to continue giving your child extra help in the problem areas. This will help ensure that your child continues to improve in school and does not fall behind again.

10. Find more resources. To help ensure that learning stays fun, consider looking for online resources that can make learning fun. You may want to buy your child some fun books or magazines in the subject area that is causing problems or you may want to invest in educational computer games that can help your child learn. Educational games and learning aids for specific subjects are also available online and in many toy stores. These can be useful in helping your child learn quickly and actually enjoy learning subjects that they considered difficult before.

11. Monitor grades. That way, problems will not sneak up again. Encourage your child to talk to you about school and assignments. Express a healthy interest in your childs projects and assignments so that you can catch new problems before they start. Of course, if your child is doing well in school, keeping track of your childs work will give you a chance to praise your child and make them feel even better about their success.