Everybody I know still wants to know why Bush II invaded Iraq. Some still think it was oil. If that were true, we would be getting substantial oil from Iraq. Actually, the insurgents control the oil flow from Iraq. If they think there is oil in a pipeline, they blow the hell out of it. I guess the reason could not be oil.

Some say that the President just wanted to look Presidential. Everyone knows he loves to wear that flight jacket and say things like Mission Accomplished. Well, that cant be it because the mission has not been accomplished.

Some say that it was because of WMDs. Well, with a little patience we would have known there were no WMDs in Iraq without the war. After our invasion, a diligent search for WMDs found none, not even the poisonous gases used on the poor Kurds. So that couldnt be it.

Well, why did President Bush go into Iraq? Was it just to make Halliburton rich? No! No! That was Cheneys idea. The reason we went into Iraq was to prepare our troops for Bush War III: Protect our Borders sometimes called The Border War.

Iraq is the ideal place to train troops for Border Duty. Its a hot and dusty place and the insurgents are always sneaking around placing bombs along roads and such. The hot desert climate and looking for folks sneaking around is perfect training for defending our borders against a bunch of Mexicans, Central Americanites, and South Americanites sneaking into our country. (We like to end nationalities in ite out here in the Mountain West. It's more Reformed Egyptianish.)

Our President was Governor of the Great State of Texas. Some say that in Texas the governorship is not a powerful position, the governor having about twenty people working for him or her. The main task of a Texas governor is to review and deny petitions for clemency of the folks on death row. However, the President said to the effect that being Governor of Texas made him aware of the border problem. So he was thinking all the time despite what some people say.

The President wants to award the best sneaker inners with citizenship. He wants more beds so that not-so-good sneaker inners can get a good nights sleep before they are booted out of the country and put in position to try again the next night. Practice makes perfect.

Some folks wonder why we dont just patrol the border with our jet aircraft and shoot the hell out of anyone seen crossing the border. Well, that would just scare the hell out of the workers we need up here in Idaho to run our dairies and irrigate our fields. Everybody should know that. Who would cut my lawn every Saturday night like Jose does after he gets home from the dairy?

I know and talk to a lot of the illegal immigrants here in Idaho. Thats because my son is a veterinarian and I sometimes visit the dairies and talk to the workers while he sticks his arm up a cows rear end. The border-crossers here work like crazy and send the money home to Mexico so there families will not starve to death.

Now havent we already solved a major social problem by letting the Mexicans sneak into our job-a-full country?

Yes!

We have solved a major foreign aid problem. They get foreign aid but they must come here and work for it.

I say to control our border is a significant thing to ponder. I say, do it like this:

Illegal immigrant day is on Tuesdays.

Anyone can check in at any border station, fill out a work request form, take one of the Presidents new beds, and wait until one of our farmers or factory workers gives the okay.

What could be simpler than that?

Those who are coming in to start a new business to bolster our economy would be allowed to pass right through on showing a handful of greenbacks to get the company started.

Anyone trying to cross our border illegally would be shot at by those roaring jets.

Of course the jets would just be shooting blanks.

We dont want to hurt the workforce.

The End

Bush, border, immigration, National Guard, Iraq, Cheney, Texas, humor