I first wrote about tyrant telephone callers four years ago, and recent unpleasantness has made me revisit this subject. What is it about the telephone that makes people think its imperious summons always has to be answered, right this minute?! Consider the following, please.

Its potentially deadly for non-professionals to answer a phone when theyre driving a vehicle. However, unless its your job to answer the phone immediately at work, for example, you dont have to race to answer the phone anywhere. The truth is, there are calls that dont have to be answered at all. Where, then, does society get the nerve to put pressure on people to drop whatever theyre doing, to speak with someone else at an inconvenient time?

The very sounds that landlines and cell phones now make can be reason enough to snatch them up, I suppose, just to save your sanity. But why not just turn them off? The irritating rings, tones, and music can be as bad as the sound from a frustrated child; hes banging over and over on piano keys he doesnt want to play in the first place. Or the phones irritate as much as the two weeks of beeping from a low battery, before the Facilities crew gets around to replacing it.

Why do we bother to have answering machines at home and voice mail at the office, if we arent going to use either one? Theres not much thats more annoying than a spouse with a head cold, bellowing at you to answer the phone, when Caller ID clearly indicates either unknown caller, or yet another toll-free call coming in. (Privacy Manager, from the phone company, is a dubious solution. It can sink you, if you're job hunting, so disable it or cancel it. Don't make it hard for would-be employers to reach you. )

What many of us didnt realize until recently is that many invasive phone calls are now dialed by a machine. When we answer such a call, theres a silence, while we inanely say, Hello?Hello?... Hello? During that pause, the machine is connecting us to a live telemarketer. So, if no one answers rightaway, we need to hang up immediately! They even have the nerve to call four times in 40 minutes, if you do ignore them.

Outside of irritating a sick person in the house, intrusive callers dont know or care that you might be in the middle of downloading bug fixes and enhancements (otherwise known as SR1 and SP3) from Microsoft. Even with DSL, such upgrades can take a couple of uninterrupted hours, after youve reinstalled Office. The reason such callers dont care is that they regard themselves as the most important people in the world, and anything youre doing can be set aside.

Whats worse, perhaps, is that it isnt just telemarketers, solicitors and pollsters, who can be rude. People from your own volunteer activities (church, community, or profession) think its perfectly OK to call very early or very late in the day. After all, its for a good cause, right? And heaven help you, if your employer makes you carry a pager or a company cell phone. It never occurs to Type A pushers that the rest of us function much better, when we unwind in the evenings, and get a healthy amount of rest and sleep.

And mothers, are you guilty of this, too? That is, do you expect your grown-up kids to drop everything, so you can nag one more time? Or do you call to be supportive and reassuring, which is what they need from you the most in todays hectic world?

The bottom line is that the phone doesnt have to be answered on the first ring, unless you are expecting an important call and/or dont want to alert everyone else in the house. Even then, extensions make it easy for others to listen in.

If youre the caller, you might try being a little more considerate. And if youre the one whos paying the phone bill, turn off the ringer and let the answering machine pick up the calls. Youll save more than your sanity.