She came through the front door of the local hospital looking more like a person who was about to ask where the emergency room was than the visitor she turned out to be. She was middle age and walking like she felt 100 years old. Limping and listing side to side, I thought she was going to tip over right in the lobby before ever getting to the desk. She asked the room number of a friend she wanted to visit and we found out they had been discharged and gone home. What followed was comment that symbolized how so many live their lives on lots of topics.

"Good," she said, "Now I can go home and get these damn heels off." It was her church shoes that were tormenting this poor woman and giving her this grotesque walk that she must have counted as her normal "these are my damn Church Heels" walk. She was miserable in them. They were physically killing her feet and adding peril to her walk from points A to B. But damn it, "these are my Church Heels and I wear them every Sunday," I suppose is what she felt and expected of herself.

Why do we do that? Why do we torment ourselves wearing things we are expected to wear and doing things we are expected to do, when in fact they hurt us and make us miserable? She was obviously expected to wear those shoes, certainly by her own force of habit, but maybe also by all the other women in her church who tolerate the same torment of wearing shoes that in fact are "killin my feet." In her case, just stop wearing the darn things lady! They are either too small, too high, too narrow, too old or too so not your style. Just stop wearing them and every bone, muscle and joint from your toes to the back of your skull with thank you a thousands times over!

You pick the topic, but this wearing, doing, participating in, going to and believing things "that are a killin my feet," seems to be such a human trait and why do we do it? Seems so easy to me, but that's because I have gone through the process of rejection for not doing things that don't personally work for me anymore and leaving some shaking their heads in dismay over the changes I have made in ways of doing or not doing, being and not being. How about you? What is it you are doing, or practicing, or forcing yourself to believe, or participating in that you really don't want to and are physically, mentally, emotionally and even spirituality killin you?

Why do we torment ourselves by doing that which we don't really want to do and not doing those things we really want to. If that sounds a bit like the Apostle Paul, I'm not speaking of the same frustration he was thinking about.

First of all, we don't do or think the things we really feel because it is not acceptable with the Tribe. They have a belief and plan for our life all ready pre-approved, and we are not to stray from that plan without their permission, which we will never get, or approval, which we also shall never get. Solution: "I can't wait to take off these damn heels. They are killin my feet."

Secondly, wearing the clothes we want to wear, thinking the thoughts that work for us and believing that which we have found to be more true for ourselves, takes homework, effort and determination to be our authentic self. That poor woman knew how she felt in those lousy heels, but she still made no effort to correct the situation for her, choosing rather to endure it, and to her peril. How many people do I know who wear their ill fitting ideas, beliefs and practices on the outside, knowing full well that this is not who they are nor what they really believe. As I have noted in the past, how many ministers I know who understand a topic to be more true in their understanding than that which they are willing to share with their congregation. There is no difference between their discomfort and the woman wearing the heels that she hates and can't wait to get rid of, but can't or won't. In this case, these men have done the homework, but won't share the results because it is too risky. There is no difference between that problem and wearing "these damn heels." We just don't mention our discomfort, aches and pains and keep on wobbling along. Solution: "I can't wait to take off these damn heels. They are killin my feet."

Finally, we must do, practice, go, participate in and believe that which is "killin us," because, well, we like to. Oh my feet hurt, but everyone wears these damn heels and their feet must hurt too. Somehow, as long as we know that everyone else is miserable, we can just follow along in the misery and be happy with it. Scary huh! It is truly a case of "Doc, every time I do this, it hurts," to which the Doc tells us, "then stop doing that." We can't. It's a habit, we paid good money for those damn shoes, ideas and classes, and we gotta wear them. Well, no really we don't have to do anything. Just because one invested 20 years in one set of ideas, does not mean we have to invest the next 20 in the same set of erroneous ideas, although I realize that if something was "good enough for papa, it is good enough for you," as some will say.

Solution: "I can't wait take off these damn heels. They are killin my feet."

So don't put up with that that does not serve you any longer for any reason. There is no good reason to do that as you just end up with crooked feet, aching shins, lousy knees, fractured femurs, grinding joints, a twisted pelvis, painful back and a lingering headache. Take off the heels and get you some moccasins that fit and feel soft as a babies butt, and see how many want to join your tribe.