Many of you "think" your stressful life is the consequence of external events beyond your control that impinge on you and force you to make undesirable choices. In that light you may complain about and feel helpless in the midst of this onslaught of pressures and expectations.

Unfortunately the belief itself that the problem exists "out there" is also stressful isnt it? That is because it leaves you, as I said feeling like a helpless victim.

Well you might say here that it is not the belief that makes you feel helpless rather the situation, correct? So convinced by this you do whatever you can to either control or adapt to the situation to reduce the stress you may be experiencing.

When you look at the effort you make to control or adapt to the situation you will notice, I feel, that it in itself is also stressful, is it not? So are you feeling like you are really making any progress in dealing with your stress? I'll leave that for you to contemplate.

I would like to draw your attention to an example that will hopefully illustrate the fact that all stress is in fact internally generated by your repertoire of unconsciously held beliefs. Beliefs that you have been conditioned and/or programmed with from the time you were conceived (and perhaps earlier).

Suppose you are in a hurry to get to a meeting and you happen to take an off ramp to a highway that leaves you stuck in a severe traffic jam. You find yourself miles from your meeting and there is a fear that you will likely be late for this very important meeting.

The stress reaction is largely a mental/emotional/physical reaction that you experience as: frustration, annoyance, anger, confusion, a drain on your energy, physical tension, desperation, feelings of helplessness and so on.

What inside you is driving all of this?

Well it's the fear.

What is driving the fear?

The belief of the consequences to you of being late which go something like this:

I'm going to lose the account, hence,

I'm not going to make my sales figures this month, hence,

I'm not going to get my bonus, hence

I'm going to be cash strapped and won't be able to make my rental payments, hence,

I'm going to lose my apartment, hence,

The quality of my life is going to deteriorate.

So in other words the underlying belief is that:

(A) If I'm late the quality of my life will be severely negatively impacted.

Now how does that make you feel? Well stressed of course?

I would like to show you that not only are you able to diffuse that belief and its effects on you but by doing so also show you that it is the cause of the stress in the first place.

Here we go.

What is the usefulness to you of believing statement (A) above?

Well you might say that it is supposed to:

1. Make you plan your time and life well so that,

2. You will be conscientious, responsible, efficient, so that,

3. You will make your meetings on time, so that,

4. You will make a good impression with your clients, so that,

5. You will make your accounts and sales figures, so that,

6. You will be successful, so that,

7. You will feel successful, happy, in control of your life, safe, secure, and at peace.

In other words if we summarize what has been said we have:

(B) The belief that "If I'm late the quality of my life will be severely negatively impacted" makes me feel successful, happy, in control of my life, safe, secure, and at peace.

Does that feel true to you?

Well if you notice how statement (A):

"If I'm late the quality of my life will be severely negatively impacted"

actually makes you feel you will notice most or all of: anxiety, fear, frustration, helplessness, annoyance, anger, tension, powerlessness and so on.

I'm sure that in this experience there are no feelings of success, peace, happiness, safety or security, much less a sense of being in control.

Hence that makes statement (B) false doesn't it?

That may come as a surprise to you as you likely thought that it was true earlier didn't you?

If you're with me so far simply acknowledge to yourself that (B) is false and then notice how you feel.

The next time you find yourself in a situation of the kind I described above notice how you feel. You may be surprised that your reaction will be a significantly different one.

What we have just attempted to do is to "de-program" you from the unhealthy habitual ways in which you have been accustomed to running your life. It is such unconsciously held beliefs that limit your repertoire of responses to a situation and this then manifests as feelings of stress.

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