When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

Matthew 14:26

Sometimes called awfulizing or catastrophizing, this is the tendency to exaggerate the possibility and magnitude of unpleasant events. The sequence or dominoes, as we call them in our book and classes, go like this:

First, something upsetting happens. Second, we have thoughts that explain or interpret this event in ways that mean it is our fault. They exaggerate the event, and view it as permanent and unchangeable, taking our choices away. Third, these distorted explanations of the event lead to an unhealthy anxiety, a worried feeling that tempts us to want to avoid dealing with reality. Fourth, we avoid dealing with the problem and get stuck in a worry cycle. Finally, this usually leads to the exact consequences that we are dreading in the first place. This is how worrying about something can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. The best thing you can say about Monstersizing is that your fears are founded.

Defeating this tendency requires that you be very specific and accurate about the event. What exactly happened? What was said? Do not let the Enemy try to fill the blanks with His interpretations, predictions and analysis of the event, for it will always be blown out of proportion. Listen carefully to your thought. What is the tendency to explain the event and is it absolutely accurate? Odds are some predicting and projecting going on. Examine just the facts you actually know.

We can hear only about 5% of our thoughts, so just listening for the explanations is not enough. Writing about the event slows your mind down enough to capture the other 95% that is non-audible. You will discover that they are exaggerating small probability events into large scale, inevitable tragedies.

Writing down the worst possible scenario is always helpful. This will help you develop a plan if it does happen, but will also help you to see that it is probably very unlikely to happen. Here is an example:

Suzie got a phone call from school. They had caught her teenage daughter smoking on-campus with some other young people. The schools zero-tolerance policy mandated some suspension time. Suzie was very distraught. Her audible thoughts went something like this: Oh, great! Now everyone will think that I am a terrible mother. This is awful. How could she? After doing some writing she discovered some more: This is just the first step. Next she will be on drugs, then she will become alcoholic, she will be promiscuous and get bad grades. She will turn to prostitution and men will abuse her for the rest of her life. Ill be ostracized from the community and our family will be ruined. My husband will leave me and I will end up being a bag lady.

Suzie dug out these non-conscious thoughts by doing some extensive writing. These had occurred to her extremely rapidly and quietly, not available to her in her conscious mind. She was only able to dig them out by writing about the event, recreating it on paper. These exacerbated thoughts sent had sent her off into a frenzy of unnecessary worry. After exposing the exaggerations she gained control and looked at this problem more objectively. This did not mean she was a bad parent or that her future was in jeopardy. It did mean that she needs to deal with her daughters unacceptable behavior and set some new boundaries. Perhaps counseling, or parenting classes would help. She could seek guidance from the school, church or community. Many choices are available to her to move forward through her daughters mistake and increase all their chances for having this be a learning experience that could be of benefit. Monstersizing robs us of the power to perceive choices and move forward in healthier, more God honoring ways.

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