Do you always get your message across? Does your partner hear what you want him or her to hear? Conscious Listening is an essential component in Co-Creating a Conscious Relationship, and being a good Sender will assure that you get your message across. If you sometimes struggle with emotional conversations, here are some guidelines for you to follow. 1. When an issue, problem, thought, or feeling arises that you need to talk about, do not begin the discussion if you are feeling elevated, anxious, frustrated or angry. Waiting for the emotions to subside so you can think and speak slowly, calmly, clearly, respectfully, and safely is critical. 2. Make an appointment with your partner, and in a brief statement let him or her know what the issue, problem, thought, or feeling is. Include the degree of importance and approximately how much time you think you will need to complete the message. 3. Always limit the message to one topic and send only a couple of sentences at a time. Give the Receiver a chance to paraphrase. Always begin with I to make the issue about you. 4. Keep the communication safe, honest, peaceful, respectful, and loving, and do not use any Relationship Killers. 5. Take all the time you need to deliver your message. After the Receiver says, Please tell me more, keep digging to find the root of your frustration, pain, or negative energy. 6. When discussing the issue, thought, or feeling, talk about your fear and pain instead of blaming, projecting, or growing angry or critical. Talk about how the issue, thought, or feeling reminds you of something in your childhood or past relationships. I hope you and your partner Gain the Awareness, Learn the Skills and Practice the Techniques so you are successful on your Journey from I-TO-WE to live your lives as each others Best Friends During the Day, Lovers at Night, and Partners for Life
2006 All Rights Reserved Glenn Cohen I-TO-WE Relationship Coaching |