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Site Home › Teens & Children › Relationship & Affair
 

We Don't Have Friends, We Have Mirrors

 
Author: Mary Gardner

Tonight I was in a coaching class and the instructor made the statement: we dont have friends, we have mirrors. I thought that was so interesting because it is describing the law of attraction, that what we are, we attract. What we reap, we sow, etc. We develop friendships with people who have similar interests, backgrounds, or other commonalities such as location, career choice or even mental outlook.

The friends as mirrors concept is really great. If youre anything like me, youll have lots of different friends that reflect different sides of your personalities, or your different moods. I admire my friends for different reasons and have different types of conversations with them when Im with them.

I have my old friends from high school. With a couple of my friends, we cant go 10 minutes without reverting back to talking about people from high school or talking about the old days. My husband just LOVES to hang out and listen to us rant and rave about all of these people who he doesnt know! But even though I know how bored he is, I cant help but laugh and whoop it up with these friends even when the stories weve told have grown so old that my husband could recite them from memory. Then, I have friends that I talk kids with on a regular basis. We share our secrets for motivating our kids or swap stories back and forth of how the kids are doing at school. Several of these friends I see at school so we also have that in common. I find it comforting to connect with these friends a few times a week for short minutes at a time. I know theyre living their personal or work life in between the hours of 8-3:00PM like I am and many of us are doing kid stuff in the afternoons like Taekwando.

I have my beautiful friends who I talk to about staying in shape and working out. I want to spend even more time with these friends as this is an important part of my life right now. But truth be known, I sometimes avoid these friends if Im feeling particularly sluggish, fat, or the feeling Im having a bad hair day. And if Im going to see any of them, I usually work out hard for several days in a row to drop a few lbs before I have to go out with them. Its always great motivation having friends like these. I know theyre not judging me, but they genuinely know my desire to be in shape so they come armed with lots of ideas and motivation.

I have my TV or PR friends who have creative minds and are constantly in the Know. I find them intriguing and exciting and when Im around them, I want to appear brilliant, creative and witty. Of course this doesnt always happen and so I sometimes have to get back with them about something Ive found out that they might like. I always want to feel like Im bringing them as much value as they bring me. These folks are similar to my work associates or friends. These are people Ive worked with or for through the years, and we catch up a few times a year. I enjoy hearing about their lives and their triumphs as well as their struggles. I knew them for a season in my life when we were close and although well never be that close again, well still remain friends, just at a distance.

Then I have a few of those, just come as you are type of friends. We have no masks, no games, and no agenda. We can pour out our hearts to one another without the risk of rejection and no fear of losing the friendship. These are the friends whose calls Ill take any time of the day or night, and will return their call promptly as soon as I see it on the screen. These friends include my mom and my sister, and a few others who will always be some of my best friends. We can go months without talking, or talk every day, but the intimacy and realness is always there.

Ive had to let a few friends go here and there. The ones who had unreal expectations of the amount of time I was able to offer in friendship, were told the truth. Others had other agendas in their lives that made it hard to relate. Still others, didnt understand my role as a mom and the choices I made separated us by our own individual beliefs. Some new friends have had to be told that Im just not able to get together now due to some additional responsibilities, and that in a few months, my personal situation will probably be a bit different. Ive found that honesty is the best policy, because even new friends can tend to get their feelings hurt when you dont respond to their invitations.

Some friends Im surprised are still with me. Ive been through so many personal ups and downs that I cant believe theyre still around to cheer me on. Other friends, I wish I could connect with more, but for one reason or another their lives have taken them on a completely different journey. Many of them I miss, and will always think of them often.

If our friends are our mirrors, Im feeling pretty good right about now. Even though my life isnt full of socializing, I still feel the closeness of a few very dear friends and blessed to enjoy the personalities of many interesting individuals who I enjoy wholeheartedly. Lives become rich because of the friends we keep and the relationships we nurture.

We dont have friends, we have mirrors. What is in your mirror today?

Author Bio:
Mary Gardner is a champion in this field. Mary has written several articles in the past on this topic.
You can search for this article using: teen relationship, teen relationship advice, abusive teen relationship, teen relationship quiz
 
 
 

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